


Shadows Will Scream That I'm Alone

by bloodfest



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Boys Kissing, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Porn With Plot, Setting Up, There will be a lot of build-up, but still smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:51:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodfest/pseuds/bloodfest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn't enjoy holidays. Not at all. Since he came out to his family a few years ago, he has gotten sick and tired of hearing the phrase "do you have a boyfriend yet" every single time; and he had had enough. So, at Thanksgiving, he lied. Now his family expects him to show up at Christmas with a boy toy that he could introduce them all to. As if his depression and anxiety wasn't enough, now he had another problem; and how was he supposed to meet someone when he can barely order fast food without freaking out on the inside? Even with his brother Zack's help, Tyler Joseph is going to have a difficult time finding a boyfriend in a month.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Family

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a Josh Dun/Male Reader series but it works a lot better as a Joshler fic so shuusshhhh
> 
> ~Caleb

He remembers it almost like it was yesterday. He remembers the fear he felt, he remembers the look on his face when he said it, and he remembered what his embrace felt like. Hell, he even remembers the smell of the room. That night had made his life a lot easier; the night he came out to his brother, Zack. It had gone a lot easier than Tyler would have expected. There was no yelling, no confusion, and no negativity whatsoever. In fact, Zack had predicted it. Of course, he had questions, like how long it had been going on. But unsurprisingly it hadn't been a very long time because he told his younger brother everything.

They went out on the town a lot whenever they needed a break, and that night was one of those. Except, it was less of an escape and more of a celebration. At that point, Tyler was 21, but Zack was only 16, so he got a virgin drink. The bar they went to every time was called Crocker's, and was definitely a place that they were beginning to love more and more each time they visited it. And that night, December 13th, is one of the ones Tyler remembers best. Now, every year, they go to Crocker's to celebrate, and call it "Brother's Night.".

He held back for a while from telling the rest of his family. He didn't feel as safe around his parents as he did with Zack, mostly because they were both gone a lot when they were younger, so it was a different babysitter every week of every year for 4 years, until Tyler was old enough to take care of Zack by himself. Tyler always protected Zack, and Zack always felt safe around Tyler.

It was when Zack was in his junior year of highschool that he met Tatum. Slowly, he was beginning to spend more and more time away from home, which meant more and more time away from Tyler. At first he didn't know what was going on, so soon he gathered enough courage to ask Zack about it. It looked like it was difficult her him to tell, but as soon as he was about to speak he smiled widely. "I have a girlfriend," he told him. A girlfriend. That meant that he would spend his days with his girlfriend and not his brother. This Tatum chick was going to ruin Tyler's life and he knew it. What authority did this girl have to take his brother away from him? Before he knew it, this "Tatum" was popping up more and more. She came to dinner at the house sometimes, she came with them to just hang out, and what set Tyler off the most was that she came to Brother's Night. There was no fucking reason that she should've been there, it's called "Brother's Night" for a reason. Tyler barely spoke at Crocker's. The only time he really said anything was when they returned home, away from Tatum. He yelled at Zack for letting her come, he yelled at him for not respecting the occasion, and he yelled at him for not respecting his brother. Apparently he didn't actually realize until then how much he had hurt his brother, and hugged him as Tyler cried into his shoulder. 

"You said it was best brothers 'til the end," he sobbed. 

"And I meant it. I'm sorry that I made you feel like I didn't. I love you, Tyler, don't you ever forget that," Zack said, and pulled away from the hug to look him in the eye. "Okay?"

Tyler nodded and wiped his eyes. "Yeah. Okay."

And after that, for some reason Tyler found himself actually enjoying Tatum's company. Apparently, she was some kind of music girl, and she gave lessons on various instruments at the local music store. She appeared kinda shy and awkward at first, but the more that he got to her Tatum was really funny and cool. She already felt like a sister to Tyler, and he kinda felt bad for freaking out over Brother's Night.

It was really easy to come out to Tatum, but he waited a while to do so. Only until he felt safe around Tatum did he tell her, and he felt even safer afterwards. Of course, shs asked how long, and if he had or wanted a boyfriend, because she knew a lot of gay guys Tyler's age. He kindly told her that he wasn't really looking for a relationship, and that was it. It was so easy. Certainly easier than he expected. 

Trusting Tatum as a sister and a friend, Tyler tried out some music lessons at her store. First he tried guitar, but he wasn't very good at it. So then he turned to bass, and he really liked it. Third was piano, which he also enjoyed greatly but alike any other instrument it took some getting used to. Last was ukulele, which was easy on his fingers and somewhat simple to use, but he heavily relied on a pick instead of strumming with his hands. He really enjoyed the instrument and, for a few weeks, couldn't put it down. He learned some simple songs that Tatum had suggested, and in his opinion he was getting good at it. Of course, he still had some difficulty, like forming some chords and switching between them quickly. He was still an amateur, but Tatum said he was good and that was good enough for him. Sometimes she would play with him, to give him more confidence as she knew he had a problem with that. This was some great bonding for them, and he got his weekly lessons free since he was family. Tyler liked being called family.

Tatum and Zack had been in college for maybe two years or so before Zack proposed. It was really romantic, the way he did it, and Tyler found himself wanting a boyfriend after that. Zack had set it up as if he was just showing her another one of the songs he had written, but he brought in his friend of hers on the drums, which was a little odd. The last verse of the song was "will you marry me" and Tatum teared up, covering her mouth, too. He played the last chord and got down on one knee, letting the drummer hold out the beat until she responded with nodding and hugging him, and the drummer hit the cymbal really hard which made Tyler laugh. He was really happy for them. 

They got married in a beautiful church. It was gigantic, and white, and just plain pretty. He could stay in that church all day if he wanted to, just looking at it. Tatum had some of her co-workers from the music store play Can't Help Falling In Love, and Tyler couldn't help but notice that the drummer from the proposal was there. It was odd seeing him in a suit, when at the proposal he wore skinny jeans and a muscle top. The reception was super fun, and Zack broke out his sick dance moves, which were hilarious. Some of his friends carried him on their shoulders and paraded him around, for what reason Tyler was unsure but it was still funny nonetheless. Zack may have gotten super hammered at the party, but he was only 21 so it was forgivable. The only thing he remembered after the dancing competition was waking up with the worst headache he could ever experience.

They've been married about a year now. Tatum still gives lessons at the store, Zack works as a bartender at Crocker's. They live in their own house, which they were kind enough to let Tyler live in (Zack knew how awful it would be to live with their parents as the only child there). It wasn't an extravagant house, but soon all three of them called it home. 

It was Thanksgiving day today, which meant that Tyler had to visit his family again. He dreaded the holidays, not because he didn't love his family, but they just always asked too many questions. He had come out a year ago, and ever since then he's been having to hear the phrase "do you have a boyfriend yet" way too many times. It was never his household family, but more of the aunts and uncles. Why did it matter to them so much? Just because Tyler was gay didn't mean he required special treatment, it just meant he liked guys. Why couldn't they just see that?

Well, regardless, he had to live with it. Every holiday. And today was a holiday. Oh boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is short and I'm sorry but it took forever just to get this much done and I was kinda panicking because the draft was going to be deleted in a few hours and I think I rushed it I'm sorry
> 
> ~Caleb


	2. Surprise

Yep, it was a holiday alright. Tyler would have to use Zack and Tatum to help him avoid questions like he always did. He hated everything about the situation, because first of all there was the annoying family members who cared way too much about his love life, and then there was the fact that he had to hide behind Zack and Tatum like they were his shields. He hated feeling like he had to be protected all the time, but but in all honesty it was really helpful to be protected. Zack made him feel safe (which was a bit unusual because normally it was Tyler protecting Zack). Tatum was no different, she just took a little getting used to at first, but she was still a shelter. A refuge. They both were, and maybe that's why they were perfect for each other, but whatever it was he loved it.

The drive to their grandmother's house was everything but silent. They were going over what they'd say if they needed to change the subject, and after that they just talked about different things. Tyler talked to Tatum about how his music efforts were, which made both Tatum and Zack proud. It was a nice and unusual feeling, to have someone be proud of him, and in turn becoming proud of himself.

When the car came to a stop at the familiar run-down house that he had been visiting his entire life, Tyler felt his heart sink again. His normal anxious and awkward atmosphere changed into a bitter and cold one on the inside, but in the "spirit of Thanksgiving" he put on a layer of false happiness to cover it up. He was holding some macaroni and cheese that Tatum had made, because she was a really good cook and it was Thanksgiving so everyone brought food. Zack opened the door to the house and walked in, saying a cheerful "hey!" to announce their arrival. While people were hugging Zack and Tatum, Tyler snuck off to the kitchen table to put the macaroni down. God, he wasn't ready for today, but he had to be. It was a holiday.

His aunt Marie was the first one to notice his existence. Luckily, she was the great and awesome and accepting aunt who didn't pry into his business, and understood how uncomfortable it made him when everyone else asked him about his life. She hugged him and said hello, which made him happy because she was the only family member other than Zack and Tatum who actually respected him.

"Tyler! How've you been?" she spoke kindly. 

"Dreading today," he responded while pouring himself some Pepsi out of the nearby liter bottle. 

"I can understand that. You know, once you guys rack up enough money, you can flee the country," she chuckled at herself. 

He laughed, too. "Yeah, I guess we could do that. What have you been up to recently?"

"Not much. Just trying to not go insane. Business at the bakery has been crazy lately! People are too lazy to bake their own desserts, so when holidays come around we're barely able to pump out orders. Anyways, how's your music been going?"

"Good. Wrote a few songs. My favorite is called 'Migraine.'"

"Don't get me wrong, that's really cool and all but we got an approaching uncle at 12 o' clock," she said, and pointed straight ahead where Tyler's uncle Tom was indeed approaching. He looked really dumb today, as he always does. Him and his sweater vests. Tyler elbow-bumped Marie to get her to help him out.

"Tyler! So good to see you," he spoke, reaching out and hugging Tyler. Shit. Tyler awkwardly and uncomfortably hugged back. "Hey Tom."

"So, how've you been lately?"

"Working on my music."

"Good, good. I bet the boys love that, now don't they?" Tom said jokingly, playfully punching Tyler in the arm. Tyler laughed uncomfortably and kinda spoke awkwardly, "I uh, I guess so."

"I bet they do. Anyways, I'm gonna head over to your mom and dad and see how they are. Seeya around, bud!" he said, and thankfully left.

After a moment of silence, Marie spoke up. "God, he's such a creep."

"You could've helped me out a bit back there, you know."

"Don't lie to yourself, kid. Nothing can be done to keep that guy's weirdness at bay," she said, sipping a beer she had gotten from a nearby cooler.

"Jeez, just... when are we going to eat?" Tyler asked, impatient. 

"Judging by all the Christians gathering around a table full of food, I'd say now."

Tyler sighed, already prepared for the night to be over. "Good."

They both gathered with everybody else, and held hands with the person closest to them. Tyler's grandfather led the prayer as they all bowed their heads and closed their eyes.

"Dear Heavenly Father, we are gathered here today to celebrate the day so many moons ago when our ancestors bonded over a very fanciful meal and said grace as we do today. Please bless this food and let it nourish our bodies as we say your name in prayer. Amen."

And with that, everyone sat down in their chairs and started putting different foods onto their plates. Tyler really liked Tatum's macaroni and cheese, so he got a lot of that. Ham wasn't really his thing, but he got some turkey because even though he didn't really like his mother she still cooked amazing food. And god, cousin Eric's mashed potatoes paired with aunt Marie's gravy... this was the only reason he liked Thanksgiving.

Just when everyone was almost done getting their food, aunt Karen (Tom's wife) spoke up. "So, has anyone's life been super eventful lately?"

"The music store is really popular now, our classes are almost getting too crammed for us to provide seating for everyone," Tatum replied.

"Oh, that's great!" Tyler's mom replied.

"Yeah, and Tyler is doing really well with his music. He's written a lot of songs, and sometimes when Zack and I are just minding our own business in the house we'll hear him screaming and bashing on his piano, it really is entertaining."

Tyler blushed at her statement, as a lot of eyes were turned toward him. Embarrassed, he just put his head down and focused on his food and the glances seemed to go away.

"Well, I'm glad you're doing well, sweetie," his father said

"Thanks." _I don't **like** you, stop **talking** to me,_ Tyler thought to himself.

It was silent for a few moments, which gave Tyler a few moments of bliss. For a few moments he didn't have to worry about anything. But of course, the silence was broken by the goddamned uncle Tom.

"So, Tyler. Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

There it was. There it fucking was. The question they had all been waiting for. The question that they already knew the answer to but they just wanted to torment him anyway. Goddammit, why did he have to have this family? _This_ family, out of every family in the world? Why did they have to be so goddamn pushy? And, why the hell was it their business if he had a boyfriend?

"You see, uncle Tom..." Tatum began.

No. They're not getting away with it this time. Right now, in this moment, everything was slowed down, and he could just feel the rage deep inside him willing to burst through and just eliminate his goddamned uncle. It would be so easy to just say no or let Tatum or Zack handle it, but... his response slipped out before he could do anything about it.

"Yes."

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Now, all eyes really were turned to him, and he kind of regretted his response, but he couldn't take it back now. And the best of all, he did have to worry about the fucking question anymore. He was free.

"You... you do?" his mother asked.

"You do?" Tatum asked in an irritated voice, turning toward Tyler with an angry expression on her face.

"Yeah."

"And you never told anyone?" his father questioned, shocked.

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well it's certainly a surprise to us," Zack mumbled.

"Well... what's his name?" uncle Tom said, looking defeated. Which he was.

"Didn't you hear me? It's a surprise."

"Well when can we meet him?" said Tyler's mother again.

"The next holiday. So, Christmas," Tyler said, much too proudly.

The table got silent again, before everyone else had their own little conversations between each other. Now that the attention was away from him, Tyler had just realized what he had done. He had just ruined his fucking life. What was he going to do now? Fuck, this was bad... he had let the anger get to his head, and when he started he couldn't stop. He was on a roll, snowballing the already bad situation into an awful one. God, what was he thinking? Telling them he had a boyfriend? And that they could meet him in a _**month?!?!**_ Nice going, Tyler. You really hit the ball out of the park with that one.


	3. Help

He was pretty much silent the rest of the night. No one talked to him other than Tatum, Zack, and aunt Marie, though, so there wasn't much he had to say. Although, usually Zack and Tatum were the two people that _everyone_ wanted to talk to, and aunt Marie didn't really care for anyone else so she talked to Tyler. And God, did he need it today.

"You don't really have a boyfriend, do you?" she asked, now starting her third beer of the night.

"Of course I don't. What guy would want to waste his time on _me?_ " 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. Everybody fucks up once in a while."

"Yeah, that makes me feel _so_ much better," Tyler said, rolling his eyes.

"Well I'm not your goddamn therapist, kid. Just don't sweat it, okay? I have known you for... how old are you? Eh, whatever. A long time, I've known you for a long time. And ya know what? You always make it. No matter what it is, you've got it under control. If you need to find a boyfriend in a month then hell, you're gonna find a boyfriend. So chill out."

Tyler stayed silent for a moment, thinking over her words, seeing if he believed them. He didn't, he really didn't because he could remember countless times when he didn't have the situation under control. He knew he wasn't as strong as Marie was making him out to be, but for her sake, he let her believe otherwise.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm gonna go find Zack and Tatum and see if we can jet."

So, that's what he did. He made his way to the living room, where everyone was sitting on couches and discussing different things while Tyler's grandfather just sat in his own chair and watched his westerns on the TV. He approached Zack, and whispered in his ear that he really wanted to leave. Zack responded with a "give me a few seconds," and Tyler stood patiently waiting.

Zack and Tatum finished their conversation about God knows what, and they got up to hug everyone and say goodbye. Tyler just stood uncomfortably, he didn't want to interact more than he absolutely had to. Finally they made their way to the door, Tatum taking Tyler's hand and pulling him in tow. Zack held the door open for the both of them, and they all walked down the driveway, Tatum pulling Tyler very quickly.

She opened his car door and almost shoved him in, getting into the passenger seat and waiting for Zack to catch up. He finally got in and they drove off, being in complete silence for a few moments until--

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Tatum spat, turning around to look at Tyler.

"I... I don't know," he replied, guiltily looking down at his hands in his lap.

"We'll you better know because that little scheme you pulled back there got you into some damn trouble, now didn't it?"

Tyler gulped, still hanging his head. "Yeah."

She sighed, calming down a little. "Look, the three of us are a team, okay? Whatever you have to go through, we do too. So if you have to find a boyfriend, then we'll help you out, got it kiddo?"

Tyler smiled at her statement and looked up to meet her eyes. "Yeah."

"Good," she said, smiling back at him and turning around to face forward.

"Hey Tatum?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call me 'kiddo.'"

She chuckled and replied with "no way, buddy."

He laughed and sighed, looking out the window and just thinking to himself for most of the ride.

They arrived home and Zack put the keys on the counter by the door. Tyler walked immediately to his room and collapsed on the bed, thinking over what the fuck he had gotten himself into. Zack appeared in the doorframe, causing Tyler to look up.

"Going to bed already? At 9?"

"I've had a long day."

"I'll give you that. G'night. 

"Night."

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

Tyler woke up to the rays of sunlight beaming into his eyes. He was still in yesterday's clothes, with the sheets all scrambled, and in a spread-eagle position on his stomach. Drool was all over his pillow, and he sat up uncomfortably to check the time on his phone. How was it 10:30 already?

Shutting the curtains on his window to keep the sun out and putting his phone in the pocket of his jeans, Tyler drearily got out of bed and trudged to the kitchen to get some cereal. As he wiped the sleep out of his eyes, he saw Tatum cooking some eggs and pancakes.

"What's all this?" he asked tiredly.

"Eh, I got bored, and I figured it would be a while until one of you boys woke up."

"Well, good morning," he said, sitting down at the table and getting his phone back out to check Instagram. 

She stepped away from her cooking for a moment to sit down with Tyler and put her hands on his free one, looking him in the eye. He looked away from his phone to lock their gazes.

"We'll help you out, okay?"

"Okay," he said, a little confused. She stood up and went back to her cooking, still leaving Tyler confused.

"Since you have nothing to do today, do you want to help me around the store when I go in at 3?"

"Uh yeah, sure. That'd be cool."

At that moment, Zack came trudging into the kitchen just like Tyler had just minutes before. Tatum laughed at that, and so did Tyler.

"What?" Zack mumbled.

"I swear, you two are like carbon copies."

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

"Tyler, hurry up!" Tatum yelled from downstairs.

"Sorry, hold on!" he yelled back, hurrying to get his socks and shoes on. He hadn't really put much effort into his outfit today, just a white tee shirt and a black hoodie over it with some black skinny jeans and some converses. He hurriedly slipped the converses onto his feet before rushing out of his room and down the stairs to where Tatum was.

"Come on, I'm gonna be late."

And with that, they both exited the door and headed to the car, Tatum getting in the driver's seat and Tyler getting in the passenger.


	4. Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter I think???? Idk man I wrote this while on the road with no wifi

The drive didn't take long, the music store wasn't far from their house. It was a silent drive, too, because the only thing on Tatum's mind was business and all Tyler could think about was his damned problem. He knew that Tatum and Zack said they'd help, but the entire thing was just hopeless. 

They finally arrived at the store, and Tatum just went about her normal business as manager. Tyler, however, helped himself to the instruments on display. The store had a few ukuleles, but not a wide variety. Regardless, he began to play each one to see how they sounded. The first was pretty average, just a wooden ukulele with some accents. It had a pretty sweet sound, but it was still a normal one. The second was a baritone, and a pretty one at that. It was a darker wood, and a little bit heavy (which was understandable, since baritones are larger). The sound was really great, too. The third one was an electric, and it wasn't just a normal ukulele with the ability to plug in; no, this one was a beauty. It had a wonderful back polished body, which was accented with an orange around the sound hole. The strings were black, and when he played a few chords it sounded really weird without an amp. Weird and absolutely heavenly. Tyler found one of the amps that were on display and plugged it in, deciding to play a part of one of his songs.

"Am I the only one I know..." he started, starting to strum quietly at first.

"Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat..."

He still played quietly, but began to pick up pace.

"Shadows will scream that I'm alone, lone, lone..."

Now, instead of strumming whole notes, he started to strum to a pattern, not caring anymore who heard. He played the instrument as if it was his own and he was in his bedroom, away from society. He felt nice. Really nice. Tyler really hoped he'd remember that feeling.

As he had gotten to the first chorus, Tyler noticed that people were coming into the store to hear him. He smiled and kept playing, being in a wonderful moment and not wanting it to end.

"I am not as fine as I seem. Pardon, me for yelling, I'm telling green gardens are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me. A difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees."

The little "audience" he had grown started clapping to the beat. They loved it. They loved it when he played, they loved it when he screamed, and they loved it when he twitched a bit while performing. And he loved playing for them. He had only done it once or twice before but there was no denying how much he loved playing live. He always hoped that one day he could perform in front of thousands.

His song was nearing its end. His strumming started to calm down a bit, and he spoke the last lyric a little quieter.

"We've made it this f--"

"Hey Mrs. J, I'm clocking out. Have a good d-- oh. Sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't see. Go on, carry on with what you were doing," spoke a pink-haired boy coming up the stairs from the store's basement. He awkwardly went back down the stairs, for what reason Tyler didn't know because the guy just clocked out. Regardless, he left the room.

Tyler just put the uke down, also acting awkwardly in the process.

The "audience" clapped, and eventually left the store. Tyler kept browsing, then turning to the keyboards and basses around. As it quieted down, the pink-haired boy came back, talking to Tatum again.

"Hey, can I play on the displays? I just finished today's lesson and the next one isn't until 7."

She nodded, not looking up from what she was doing. "Yeah, go ahead."

Then, as the boy turned his head to look at the displays, he noticed Tyler, and automatically became apologetic.

"Hey dude, I am so sorry for interrupting earlier."

"Don't sweat it. I was done with my song anyway," Tyler chuckled.

"Oh," the boy said, blushing a bit and rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm gonna go... drum, now."

Tyler chuckled again. "Okay."

So, he trudged off, sitting down at the seat in front of the drumset. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, which had some earbuds connected to it and put the earbuds in.

Looking up from his phone for a second, the boy took one of the earbuds out. "You sounded really good, by the way."

Tyler smiled at this. "Thanks."

He kept the earbud out and tapped his phone, putting it back in his pocket before starting a very light beat. As Tyler sat down at one of the keyboards, he patted the tops of his thighs to the other boy's beat. He picked up the intensity very slightly, and Tyler started playing some notes. It sounded really good, it was a lot better than Tyler's songs by himself. The boy noticed this, and smiled at Tyler. Suddenly, the drummer boy started slamming the drums, looking at Tyler like it was a challenge. Tyler knew how to play this game. He started playing the notes faster, letting his fingers glide like they had a mind of their own. He glared at the boy, seeing the sweat start to form at his brow. In respinse, the boy ripped his earbud out, so it was just the two of them.

This little battle of theirs carried on for much longer than expected. Whatever song the boy was listening to previously had surely ended. Tatum was just watching the whole thing, taking in every moment and not knowing what to do with it. Tyler and the boy didn't care who was watching, to them they were the only people who mattered. At one point, the boy rose his arms up in the air and just reigned havoc upon that drum. Tyler had been mashing down the keys like his life relied on it, and he didn't even care how loud they both were.

Closer towards the end, the boy's bass drum gave under the force of his foot pushing on the pedal. It just broke. Regardless, he kept drumming. Tyler caught the drift though and made sure to make the notes sound like the session was coming to a close, and it finally ended when the boy hit the cymbal with a loud crash.

Both of them were breathing heavily. Sweat was dripping off of them and they didn't care, the rush was amazing. Tyler chuckled to himself for a moment, and he looked back at the boy.

"I'm Tyler."

The boy nodded. "Josh."


	5. Cold

"Joshua William Dun!!" Tatum screamed.

"I'll pay for it, I swear!" he said, putting his hands up in defense.

Tyler just laughed through the whole thing.

"That kit was expensive, I hope you have the money for it," she said angrily.

"Man, I'll have to survive off of cup ramen for the next two months..." he pouted.

"You got yourself into it, Dun."

This "Josh" sighed, and stood up from the drum stool he was previously resting on. He made his way to Tyler and held his hand out for him to shake. "Tyler, huh?"

Tyler took his hand. "Yeah, I'm Tatum's brother-in-law."

"Tatum?"

"Well, Mrs. Joseph, but yeah."

"Oh. Cool."

"Hey Tyler," Tatum said from across the room, "we should probably get going. It's around 5 now."

"What?" Tyler queried. "Already?"

"Yeah. Say bye to your boyfriend there and come on."

They both looked at each other and blushed while quickly turning away. Josh rubbed the back of his neck again and muttered a "bye," as Tyler waved and walked off.

Dammit, Tatum.

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

When they got home, Tyler headed straight to his room again, and ran to his piano. He tried to remember what notes he had played during that glorious session with Josh, and eventually they came to him. He ran his fingers along the keys again, just like he had before but with less emotion. Still, the notes were the same, and eventually he put lyrics to it. He let his soul speak, and put the words onto a page. He stayed up until the early AMs that night, but it was totally worth it if it meant he put meaning to the music he was playing with someone his heart seemed to match beats with.

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

Tyler woke up wrapped tightly and comfortable in his sheets. One of his legs was hanging off of the bed, and he was actually in his night clothes this time.

He actually felt refreshed this morning. Walking past the living room, he saw Zack unconscious on the couch, still in his robe. He was practically buried in popcorn, and the TV was still on. _'Lazy bastard,'_ Tyler thought to himself.

Tatum was probably doing laundry; she did every Saturday. And, for some reason, Tyler just really didn't want to exist today. Sadly, he had to, which meant that he'd have to do the closest thing to not existing: just being away from other people. And even if it was cold outside, Tyler liked the cold. It had snowed last night, as it did fairly normally in Ohio, so the streets were lightly dusted with snow, which made it perfect. 

"Tatum, I'm gonna go for a walk," he yelled to her.

"Okay!" she yelled back. "Just wear appropriate clothes and be careful!"

"You sound like my mom," he laughed. "Okay, I'll be back in a little bit."

"Alright, bye!"

As Tyler was about to leave, he heard a groan from the couch. "Shut up..." Zack mumbled.

Tyler chuckled and walked out the door. The brisk air nipped at his skin a little at first, but he got used to it in time. He never knew why, but he always liked the cold. The goosebumps he got when he was lying awake at night, the chill of winter's first wind. He loved the cold.

At first he just started walking around the neighborhood with his hands at his sides instead of in his pockets, where someone would have told him to put them. He was alone right now, and that is one of the things that Tyler Joseph loved the most: being alone. Now, being alone doesn't necessarily mean that you're lonely, it just means you're by yourself. Which isn't always a bad thing. Being by yourself can be great for someone, because it means that they're away from the rest of the world and its problems. Some may call this concept selfish, but Tyler always called it refreshing. Sometimes, you need to be alone.

And that's why he secluded himself all the time. He stayed alone because he wanted to, and because he didn't really like other people unless he had really built a strong bond with them. That's why he clung to Zack and Tatum, because they were people he knew and who knew him. The songs that he wrote were about him, yes; but he tried really hard sometimes to make it about other people, because he knew there were people like him out there, who were actually a lot worse off than he was, and so he wrote his songs. To be a beacon to people with troubled minds. To be... a lighthouse. Yeah, a lighthouse. Although, they weren't doing much good just sitting in his room. _'Maybe the bulb just needs to be replaced.'_

It was then that Tyler realized he had strayed a bit far from his house, and needed to turn back. The morning emotional stroll along the neighborhood surprisingly eased his mind a bit, and he was more willing to exist now. 

When he finally stepped inside the house again, the gust of warm air hit him in the face. It was refreshing, he's not gonna lie, but it was quite the contrast from what he had gotten used to. Zack was sitting at the kitchen table with Tatum, both of them on their phones. Zack looked up to see Tyler, and his face lit up.

"Tyler! Hey bro, sit down with us for a minute."

This seemed a bit weird, but he obliged and sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Okay, so there's this app called Grindr."

"Jesus Christ, Zack..."

"Hear me out! It's a dating app for people of your... orientation."

"You can say the 'g word,' Zack. It's for gay people."

"Yeah. That. So, I was thinking maybe you could try it out!"

"Zack, I'm not using a gay dating app. It's just not going to happen."

"Come onnnn, just one date?"

Tyler was silent before his reply, thinking it over. Currently, that was really his only chance, but those things were shady! You never know who you could be meeting! God, Tyler did _**not**_ want to go through with this, but...

"Fine," he said with a sigh. "One, and only one."

Zack's face lit up again, smiling ear-to-ear and being happy to help his big brother. "Sweet! Let's get your account set up."

"Jeez, I'm gonna regret this."

"Shut up, no you aren't. Okay, download the app on your phone."

"I'm not staying down here for this," Tatum said, getting up from the kitchen table and going elsewhere.

Tyler got his phone out of his pocket, typing in the password and opening the app store. In the search bar he typed "grindr," and tapped the first result. With a nervous intake of air, he held his breath before hitting "install." He got a notification afterward that it had finished downloading, and he sighed.

What was he doing?


	6. Trust Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo this is a longer chapter so yay
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I am so so so so sorry for this, it had to happen for the sake of plot

They had spent way too long looking at that stupid fucking app that Zack insisted on. There were barely any people on the app that lived around Tyler's location, and the few that were there were really unappealing. It's not they they were bad guys, it's just... they weren't Tyler's type.

One of the guys' names was Steven; he was a ginger who had a lot of face piercings and tattoos. Not that Tyler was against those, he just liked them to a certain extent. There was a line to be drawn and this guy surely crossed it a long time ago. Steven's bio stated how much he loved Slipknot and anime, two things that weren't really Tyler. So he moved back to searching.

The second guy he found was pretty cool. His profile picture was nice, obviously not the most handsome in the world but Tyler wasn't after looks. His name was Mike, and his bio stated that he loved listening to My Chemical Romance and Imagine Dragons. He also liked to paint in his free time, and he sold his paintings for a living aside from working as a waitor at the local TGI Friday's. Tyler was really liking this Mike guy, and decided to message him to see when they could go on a date.

God, they talked all the time. Tyler found himself talking to Mike in his free time instead of playing music and writing songs, and for some reason he was _okay with that_. Which, he shouldn't have been, but there was something about Mike that made him relaxed. There was more than one occasion where Tyler thought that Mike was definitely the one for him. He would walk around the house with his face practically buried in his phone, and whenever Zack or Tatum asked him about it he'd just say "I'm busy," "shut up," or "shush." Sure, they were happy that Tyler was happy, but what was up with him?

They had their first date a week after they had started talking. Yeah, it was a little soon but they were eager to meet in person. They knew a lot about each other by now, and they felt like they had known each other for years ( and apparently, Mike was English!). This date meant a lot to Tyler, and everyone knew it.

It was at an Italian restaurant that was pretty close to where Tyler (and Zack and Tatum) lived, which was very convenient. Tyler hadn't been to this place before, but Mike said it was really good so he trusted him. The restaurant was called "The Gondola," and it looked small but who cares about the size of the restaurant anyway? Tyler was pretty nervous about tonight... he just wanted everything to go perfect. He really liked Mike, and he hoped to God that his feelings were returned.

Since Zack had gotten stuck with the late shift at Crocker's, Tatum was nice enough to drop Tyler off since he couldn't drive (it was an inconvenience to him and everyone else, but he just hadn't gotten around to getting his liscense). During the drive to the restaurant, Tatum was probably more excited than Tyler was. Then again, it wasn't that difficult to be more excited than Tyler, since he was more scared than anything. What if he didn't show up? What if he didn't care? What if he wasn't who he said he was?

They pulled up to The Gondola, and Tatum parked in the parking lot, waiting for Tyler to get out. He just sat there, looking at it, thinking it over and wondering what he had gotten himself into. He decided that even if he regretted it, which he wasn't sure if he did or not, it was too late to back out now. So, he looked at Tatum and thanked her, taking in a breath before stepping out of the car.

He smiled at Tatum again through the window and waved before she drove off. He watched the car drive away until it was completely out of sight, and finally gathered the courage to make his way across the parking lot.

Tyler was so nervous. He was wearing a white button-up shirt, for the sake of looking nice but also casual. He walked quickly to the door of the restaurant, eager to get the night over with. He opened the door for and held it for a couple that was behind him, walking in after them. They talked to the hostess and a waitress led them to their table, which meant that it was Tyler's turn.

"Good evening, sir! Table for one?"

"Actually, has there been a Mike F. tonight? I'm meeting with him."

"Oh, yes! He arrived just recently. Veronica," she said, turning towards a waitress that was collecting menus, "lead this young man to the table in the corner with the English man."

The waitress nodded, and signaled Tyler to follow her. He did, and as the hostess had pointed out, the table was indeed in the corner. As soon as he laid his eyes on Mike his heart fluttered a bit, causing him to smile at his date. He sat down in the booth as the waitress spoke to them again.

"So what can I get you gentlemen to drink?"

"Water please, with no lemon," Tyler spoke.

"I'll have some white wine, please," Mike said in his gentle and intoxicating English accent. Tyler really liked accents.

"Great! I'll be back with those in just a moment," the waitress said, walking away.

Mike's glance immediately went to Tyler, and his eyes were so beautiful and filled with a certain joy to be there. "Hey, baby boy," he spoke softly, bringing his hand to Tyler's and lightly caressing it with compassion. "How was the drive?"

"Well, more like ride, really... but it was fine. How about you? How've you been?"

"I got a painting done yesterday; but that was the only thing keeping me distracted from the thought of seeing you, so since then I've just been itching with anticipation."

"Aw, you're so sweet," Tyler responded, looking down at their hands and smiling again.

"I may be sweet, but I can turn into a whole new person with you around."

"Um, what does that mean?"

"You'll find out... trust me."

Tyler didn't like that. He really didn't like that. What the fuck was that supposed to even _**mean?!**_ This is where Tyler was starting to feel really uncomfortable with the entire situation, just not liking being around anyone in general and having an extreme desire to go home. But Mike was a good guy; Tyler could feel that. For some reason, though, that feeling was growing weaker.

Tyler's thoughts were interrupted when the waitress came by with their drinks. She set the drinks down on the table and brought her pen and paper back out, ready to write down their orders.

"Have you gentlemen decided on what you would like to eat tonight?"

Damn. Tyler hadn't even looked at the menu. Eh, he'd just get something basic. "I'll have the lasagna, please."

She scribbled it down on the paper. "And I'll have the chicken fettuccine alfredo," Mike said confidently, handing the waitress both of their menus.

She left again, and Mike looked back over to Tyler. Instead of just caressing his hand, he intertwined their fingers, looking Tyler dead in the eye. "Do you wanna come over to my place after dinner?"

"Uh... yeah, sure. That sounds fun."

"Great," Mike replied in a bit of a husky voice.

Tyler really didn't like this. This was creepy. This wasn't fun. This wasn't the date night that Tyler had planned for.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick," Tyler said, getting up from the booth and making his way over to the restroom. Once he stepped inside, he looked in the mirror at his sweaty and nervous self.

"It's just a date, calm down," he told himself, splashing water in his face afterwards. He did this a few times and drying off before he deemed it worthy to exit, and finally made his way back to the table.

"Hey, I'm back. Oh, and the food's here! Great!" Tyler said, scooting back into his side of the booth. The lasagna smelled delicious, and he just picked up his fork and started cutting it up into little pieces to make it easier to eat. He took a huge swig of his water, and made a face at it.

"Why does my water taste a little weird?"

"I'm sure it's fine, darling. Go on and eat your dinner, I'm sure you're starving."

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry, it just seemed a little off."

"It's alright, honey. Eat."

Tyler did as told and began to put the lasagna in his mouth, only to find that he was having trouble keeping his eyelids open. Was he really that tired? He wasn't tired just a second ago... what?

Then his hands stopped functioning correctly. He couldn't pick up the fork again. "Uh, Mike?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" he spoke casually, as if nothing even happened.

"I uh... wha's hahenin?"

Oh god. Oh no, oh fuck, oh shit. He couldn't speak now, and when he collapsed Tyler knew exactly what was going on.

_**He was being roofied.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry
> 
>  
> 
> Also ya know it would be frickin dandy if you guys would comment


	7. Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!  
>  Rape in this chapter!

Tyler woke up in a moving car. He drearily opened his eyelids to see things moving very fast, jolting up in fear only to realize he was looking out the window. He took a second to take in his surroundings, and he was shocked when he looked to his left and saw Mike.

"What the fuck?!" Tyler yelled.

"I knew I shouldn't have bought the drugs off a guy in an alley," Mike muttered to himself. "Damn things don't even last thirty minutes."

"Mike, what the fuck," Tyler repeated himself.

"You said you wanted to go to my place, and that's what we're doing."

"No, no. Fuck no," Tyler said, unbuckling his seatbelt, planning to jump out of a fucking moving car.

"Let's not do that, sweetie," Mike spat, reaching his right hand over to stop Tyler as he tried to unlock the door. Tyler thrashed under his grip, but to no avail as Mike was the stronger of the two.

"Goddammit, just leave me alone!!"Tyler yelled.

That was the last thing he remembered, right before a fist met with his temple and sent immense pain through him as well as unconsciousness.

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

He woke up again, only in his boxers, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall of a very nice looking house. His ears rang with the pain he still felt from the punch, and when he tried to get up he found that his hands were ziptied together above his head. God, what had he gotten himself into?

When he looked up, Mike was pacing in front of him, obviously in deep thought. He was muttering things to himself, some things Tyler couldn't make out. And fuck, was that a butcher's knife in his hand?! Jesus Christ, this guy was nuts.

"How am I going to explain this?" he said to himself a bit louder.

"If you let me the fuck _**go**_ then you won't _have_ to."

"Did I fucking ask you?!" he yelled, pointing the knife in Tyler's direction. He kneeled down in front of Tyler, putting the tip of the knife on the tip of Tyler's nose. "If you ask any more goddamn questions, I'll have to use this."

Of course, that silenced Tyler as Mike stood back up to think a little longer. Tyler didn't know what he was thinking about, but then again he didn't want to. This man was absolutely terrifying, and Tyler wanted no part of him.

He gulped before opening his mouth to speak again. "W-what do you want with me?"

Mike just stopped and turned to look at Tyler. Before Tyler knew it, Mike was on the ground with him again and his nose was bleeding and in so much fucking pain. Tyler cried out, and Mike quickly covered his mouth. "The neighbors will hear you, you little shit."

Mike stood up again to get something to wipe away the blood on his knuckles from punching Tyler again. He turned on the sink and rinsed his hand, opening a drawer beside him with the other.

He walked back to Tyler, remembering something. "But oh wait, didn't I say that if you asked any more questions then I'll have to _**cut**_ you?" he said with a devilish smirk on his face. "I did, didn't I?"

Tyler began to cry at this point. He just cried. Mike slapped his cheek, making it burn and leaving a slight handprint on his face. "Didn't I?" he spat.

Tyler nodded furiously. "You did, you did. Just please, let me go! I've done nothing to you, please, please..." he spoke quickly through his cries.

"Oh honey, I can't understand you when you cry, you'll have to speak more _**clearly**_ ," he spat, slapping Tyler in the same place again.

He yelled in pain. This was torture, absolute torture in its purest definition. His face was contorted from his weeping, and wet from the tears.

"Now let's get to the punishment, shall we?"

The knife dug into Tyler's cheek, in the exact same place that he was slapped twice. "One cut for disobeying me." Next it left its trail across his chest. "One cut for being so damn loud." The third slit was along the top of his thigh. Tyler was screaming the entire time. "And another just because I love you," he finished, planting a kiss to Tyler's forehead.

"Now enough teasing, let's go ahead and--"

Mike's words were cut off by the phone ringing. With a sigh, he said "stay put," and stood to answer it.

"Hello? No officer, everything's fine, the screaming you heard was just on TV. Yeah. Okay. Alright, bye officer," he said, and hung up with a sigh.

"Did you hear that?" Mike spat angrily. You almost got me in a lot of fucking trouble."

Mike stood up again to get something from the drawer he opened earlier. He grabbed what looked like a roll of duct tape and Tyler knew exactly what was coming next.

As expected, Mike walked back over to Tyler and put the tape over his mouth. "Maybe now you'll shut the fuck up."

Tyler's nose was still bleeding, and now so were the freshly opened wounds on his face, chest, and thigh. Suddenly, he was thrown over Mike's shoulder, and carried up the stairs to what Tyler assumed was a bedroom. He was thrown onto the bed, hands still ziptied, and he kept crying. He was a virgin, and this is how he was going to lose his virginity.

Mike began to unbutton his shirt and throw it elsewhere. Loosening his belt, Tyler tried to scream under the tape but of course it was muffled. Soon, Mike was completely naked, and he began to kiss and bite Tyler's neck. The hickeys would surely be there for a long time, just adding to the other marks that would remind Tyler of tonight. 

He pulled down Tyler's boxers, despite all of his thrashing. "Stop. Struggling," Mike growled, digging his nails into the cut in Tyler's thigh, causing him to scream under the tape again. "It'll only make things worse."

Tyler's boxers were quickly tossed away, revealing himself. Mike wrapped Tyler's legs around his waist, and without warning, shoved himself into Tyler. No lube, no anything. Just burning agony.

His thrusts in and out of Tyler were fast and powerful, slamming him everg time. Tyler kept crying through it all, probably still bleeding onto the sheets. The moans and groans coming from Mike mixed with the sounds of skin slapping skin made Tyler want to throw up. God, how did this happen?

The burning from Tyler's hole hurt so fucking bad. The tears never stopped, and Tyler was constantly being slammed into the headboard of the bed, probably bruising. He had bruises all over his body now, especially on his hips were Mike's hands were digging into them.

After a few minutes of this hell, his violent thrusts into Tyler stilled, and Mike let out the ugliest groan of all as Tyler felt himself being filled with his warm sticky substance. Mike pulled out of Tyler, resting on the bed, and pulling Tyler up close to him. All through the night, Tyler cried with the duct tape still on his mouth. He cried until Mike fell asleep.


	8. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fucking enormous so maybe this can count as an apology for last chapter's existence

Tyler cried until Mike fell asleep. He could tell he was asleep because of his loud snoring, which meant that he was a heavy sleeper.

_**Brilliant.**_

With his mouth still taped and his hands still ziptied, Tyler silently kept out of bed to look for the butcher's knife that Mike had earlier. He then remembered that it was still downstairs, and slowly but carefully made his way out of the room and down the stairs. The stairs creaked a bit, but that was okay because he had shut the bedroom door behind him. From the bottom of the steps he could see the knife, just lying on the floor beside a few small pools of blood from just maybe an hour ago. He approached the knife and sat on the floor, picking up the knife and putting it between his thighs. He began to put the zipties on it, moving them up and down quickly as to free himself. Since it was an agonizingly slow process, it took a few minutes of cutting through the plastic until his bonds were broken. 

Carefully, he brought his hands up to his mouth to peel a corner of the tape, only to realize how much his wrists hurt from being bound that tight for so long. Tyler took a second to pop and roll his wrists to get them to a good functioning state and peeled more of the tape. He went slow, probably making it hurt worse but he needed to be quiet.

Finally, once the tape was off, he realized he wasn't wearing anything, so Tyler carefully crept back up the stairs to retrieve his clothing.

The door creaked a bit when he opened it, but as far as he could tell, Mike was fast asleep. So, carefully, he tiptoed over to where his clothes lied, as piled them all up in his arms, going back down the stairs. He'd rather get dressed when he was away from Mike, so he'd have less of a chance of waking him. He slipped his boxers on quickly before throwing his shirt over his head, wincing at the pain of the cut on his chest. He wasn't bleeding any more, but that didn't take away from the pain. Trying to ignore it, he stepped into his jeans, feeling something in the pocket of them. He pulled it out, and silently rejoiced.

_**His fucking phone.** _

When he had all his clothes on, he made sure to make no noise whatsoever as he made his way to the front door, opening and closing it slowly and stepping outside. He really didn't care that he didn't have any socks or shoes, that wasn't his problem right now.

He got a long way down the road of the neighborhood before dialing a number on his phone. He called the house, hoping that either Zach or Tatum would be awake at nearly 3 AM. The phone rang a few times, before Tyler heard a very drowsy brother on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Zack," Tyler sobbed into the phone. "Zack, please, help me..."

"Tyler?! Oh my god, what's wrong?"

"It was Mike, he... he hurt me, he hurt me bad and I might still be bleeding, I don't know."

"Bleeding?! Holy shit, Tyler, where the fuck are you?! We're picking you up, right now."

"I don't know where I am," he cried again. "I'm scared."

"Don't worry, we'll find you. You're walking right now, right?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck, okay. Just keep walking, we're getting in the car now and you call us when you find a landmark."

Tyler sniffled. "Okay."

"Jesus Christ. Hang in there, we're on the way. Love you."

"I love you, too."

He heard Zach hang up on the other side. He looked forward down the road, into the night, and in the distance Tyler saw where the pathway led to a road. A real road with real cars and real yellow lines. He tried to run towards it, but the pain both in his thigh and between his legs was too much and he collapsed onto the pavement, creating another injury to his body. This time he had twisted his wrist in a very uncomfortable way, probably spraining it. He got back on his feet with a little difficulty and continued walking down the path.

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

His feet hurt, they hurt so much. His limping wasn't helping him speedwise, and he felt bad for not calling Zack again yet. He had been walking down the road for what seemed like an hour, but in reality it was probably around twenty minutes. So far, no cars had pulled over to see what was wrong, and Tyler didn't know how much longer he'd have to trudge.

He was close to passing out and he knew it. He was tired, he ached, and he didn't want to fucking march here anymore. He didn't know what time it was, he didn't really care though. If he could just catch a fucking ride that would be great.

He had given up on Zack and Tatum, merely because there wasn't a good way for them to pick him up. He didn't know where he was. And if he didn't know, how would they know? Tonight had just gone to shit in the worst possible way. 

As he was still walking, just lost in his thoughts, he saw headlights and heard a car slowing down to stop beside him. He looked over to see it, and as the passenger's seat window rolled down he didn't know how to react.

"Tyler?! Is that you?" the man said, getting out of the car and approaching him.

"Josh..."

"Oh my god, your face! What happened?" Josh asked, holding a hand up to Tyler's face.

He winced at the pain. "Ah, don't touch don't touch."

"Sorry."

"Can you help me into the car please?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Come on," he said, slinging Tyler's arm over his shoulder, opening the car door, and guiding him to the passenger seat. Josh carefully set him down, lightly moving his legs into the car as well. He shut the door and walked back over to his side and got in, beginning to drive off.

"What the hell happened to you?" Josh asked, the worry evident in his voice.

"It's a long story, I promise I'll tell you eventually."

He sighed at the answer, for it definitely was not the one he was hoping to get. "Okay."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"Dude, don't sweat it. Only an asshole would leave you stranded back there."

"Well, you were the first car to pull over."

"How long have you been walking?"

"I don't know, an hour, give or take." Tyler's voice was really hoarse by now from all the screaming he did at Mike's place.

"Shit," Josh cursed under his breath. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a second. "Okay. I'm taking you home. Where's your house?"

"I can't drive, I don't know. Let me call Zack and Tatum real quick."

It was silent in the car as Tyler got his phone out of his pocket and dialed Zack's cell. He put it on speaker, and Zack picked up pretty damn quickly.

"Tyler?"

"Hey."

"Where the fuck are you? Why haven't you called us? It's been 45 goddamn minutes since you called the first time, we've been worried sick."

"I'm okay, I just hadn't come across anything that could help you find me. I've been walking on the side of the road for a while, and I turned to hitchhiking."

"Wait, are... are you in a car?!"

"Yeah, and guess who just happened to be driving at 4 in the morning."

"Hi, Mr. Joseph," Josh spoke.

"Who the fuck is that?"

"It's Josh, from Tatum's store."

"Oh," Zack said, sounding more relieved.

"He needs directions," Tyler said.

"Where are you now?"

"Just coming up on the Wendy's downtown," Josh said.

"Okay. You'll need to keep going on that road for a few minutes."

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

They had been driving for about maybe ten minutes. Zack had already told Josh what to do and where to go, and he knew exactly where he was going now. Tyler had passed out a while ago, probably from exhaustion so Josh never woke him.

Josh was starting to become a little tired as well. Regardless, no matter how many times his eyelids drooped, he kept driving to the house. He kept on his drive, trying to pay attention to the road, and mostly succeeding. He realized that he was coming up on the street Zack had told him about. He turned onto it, and tried to remember which house he said it was.

He slowed the car so he could look around at the houses, and saw two people sitting on the steps of their front door. The woman looked familiar, and he noticed that it was indeed Mrs. Joseph. As he neared the house, the couple looked up, obviously very joyed, and he pulled into the driveway.

Josh got out of the car as they both rushed up to him, hugging him and thanking him profusely. When they finally stopped, he moved over to the passenger seat and opened the door, nudging Tyler to wake him up.

"C'mon, dude, wake up. You're home."

His eyes fluttered open, seeing Josh in front of him and then glancing over to Zack and Tatum. It looked like they were both crying earlier, and Tyler couldn't really blame them. This was a bad situation.

"We've gotta call the police," Zack spoke after there was a long silence.

"N-no," Tyler replied wearily.

"What?! And just why the fuck not?!"

"It would be a lot of trouble, they'd ask questions and I just really don't wanna fool with that."

"Excuse you, that's not really your decision to make--"

"Stop it, Mr. Joseph. I don't exactly know what happened, but I can tell that Tyler's been through a lot. So just give him a break," Josh interjected.

"Josh is right," Tatum said.

There was another long silence as they all thought over the situation and what to do with it, until Tatum spoke up. "Come in, let's get Tyler to bed."

"Yeah. Josh, thank you for helping but you should really go now," Zack spoke, a bit angered.

"No, he's staying," she said.

Zack looked at her like she had just told Josh every bit of information that was private.

"I-I don't have to stay, really," Josh replied.

"No, please stay the night. We owe you."

Without another word, Josh had Tyler's arm over his shoulder again and was helping him inside the house. Zack opened the door for them, shutting it when everyone was inside. It was pretty difficult getting the man up the stairs, but he did it eventually, getting Tyler into his bed and pulling the covers over him. Josh made his way to the doorframe, putting his hand on the lightswitch but not turning it off yet.

"Good night."

"Wait," Tyler jumped. "Please."

"Please what?" Josh asked, confused.

"Please stay in here for tonight."

Josh chuckled. "Where would I sleep?"

"You can take my bed and I can sleep in the floor."

"No, you're taking the bed. You need a good night's rest."

"Well you're not gonna be on the floor."

"If I sleep in here, that's where I'll be. No exceptions."

"Can't you just..."

"What?"

"Sleep in my bed? With me?"

"No. Of course not."

"Why?"

Josh huffed at him. "I barely know you, Tyler. No."

"Fine... take the floor, I guess."

"Alright. Let me go downstairs and grab a few things," Josh said, leaving the room and doing exactly what he said he'd do. He got a few pillows from the couch, and found a blanket lying around from what looked like when someone previously took a nap there.

He made his way back up the stairs to Tyler's room, but when he looked in, Tyler was already asleep. He smiled at the sight, turned the light off, and set up his pillows in the corner of the room. He laid down, pulling the blanket onto him and letting his eyelids shut for the night.


	9. Mario Kart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this being short n shit. I struggled to get this much done.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> ~Caleb

Tyler woke up warm and cozy in his bed. He looked at the clock, and as it read 11:19, he came to the conclusion that is was all a bad dream. Last night had never really happened. Tyler believed that. At least, he wanted to believe that.

As he rolled over to get out of bed, he saw the little setup of blankets and pillows in the corner, now empty. He looked down and saw that he was wearing the same white button-up shirt as he was yesterday, except it had a little blood on it. It wasn't a dream, it was never a dream.

He rubbed his eyes before standing again, pain still evident. Like every morning, he trudged to the kitchen to get something to eat. But, as he entered the kitchen, someone unexpected was sitting at the kitchen table, and some of last night's memories came back to him. Josh. He had taken him home and stayed in his room. Tyler made his way to the kitchen table, sitting down beside Josh. This distracted him from his scrolling on his phone, and looked up at Tyler.

"Good morning," he said, flashing Tyler a smile.

"Hey," Tyler replied, tiredly.

"Sleep well?"

"I guess, yeah."

"That's good. You needed it."

Josh turned back to his phone, letting a silence fall over them. The only sound made was Josh's thumb tapping his screen a few times, before Tyler spoke up.

"So how long are you staying?"

"Probably not long, I need to go to work soon."

As Josh said this, Tatum walked in with an empty plate, putting it in the sink. "Don't bother! Take the day off."

"Really?" Josh turned to look at her in disbelief.

"We owe you so much, Joshua, please. Don't go in to work today."

Josh smiled ever-so-slightly at her, before nodding. "Okay."

"So since you don't have to work," Tyler started, "will you be here all day?"

"I uh," Josh said, scratching the back of his neck. "I guess so, yeah."

"Well I'm going to be in my room," Tyler replied a bit coldly, getting up from his seat at the table.

"Come on, Tyler. Spend time with Josh," spoke Tatum.

Tyler looked at her like she was his mother and he was a lazy teenager who didn't want to do his chores. He sighed, looking back to Josh and shrugging. "What do you want to do?" he spoke in a monotone voice, which made Tatum glare at him again.

"You got any video games?"

"Dude, that's like asking Taco Bell if they serve Mexican food. Come on," Tyler retaliated, earning a laugh from Josh and gesturing him to follow back to his bedroom.

They walked in and Tyler shut the door behind them. He turned the TV on as well as the game console, tossing Josh a controller. He signaled for the pink-haired boy to sit on the bed, and Tyler joined him. He sighed as the game pulled up onto the TV.

"Hope you like Mario Kart."

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

"THAT'S BULLSHIT" Tyler screamed _again_ at the TV as he fell off of the side of the Rainbow Road course. _Again._

Josh just kept laughing at him. For some reason he just had a natural skill for Mario Kart and had been winning every game since they started playing around half an hour ago.

"GODDAMMIT PEACH"

"Ooo she passed you like a math test."

"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PHRASE IS THAT?"

Josh laughed at him again. "I don't know, man. Oh hey, you're in 9th place now!"

"FUCK YEAH I AM, AND I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR LITTLE BABY MARIO ASS"

At this point, everything Tyler said made Josh laugh again. "Sure, because Toad can beat Baby Mario. Right," he spoke with sarcasm.

"I CONNECT WITH TOAD ON A VERY SPIRITUAL LEVEL, OKAY"

This time Josh laughed so hard he had to pause the game to regather himself. He fell back onto the bed, clutching his stomach as he let out bursts of laughter while Tyler had a mini-rage.

"NO. YOU UNPAUSE THE GAME, YOU LITTLE SHIT"

Josh wiped his eyes from where his laughs caused a few tears to come out. "Okay, okay, gimme a second, oh my god." He unpaused the game and picked up the race right where they had left off.

"WOAH WHAT THE SHIT?! FIFTH PLACE"

"You're doing really good!"

"YEAH I KNOW BITCH I HAVE EYES"

Tyler passed the line that signaled he was on his last lap. "Ohh Tyler, last lap. Gotta step up your game if you want to beat me."

"SHUT UP AND LET ME DRIVE"

The laps were pretty short, and all throughout the last lap Tyler kept climbing ranks. First he was in fifth, then fourth, then third. And now he was in second, trailing closely behind Josh.

"Uh oh. Oh no, uh oh _**no thank you!**_ " Josh said as Tyler's Toad character passed his Baby Mario.

"HAHA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, FUCKFACE?!"

And just like that, Tyler crossed the finish line, in _first place._ He threw the controller down and yelled in victory, dancing around the room as well. Josh laughed with him again, and Tyler noticed, suddenly stopping his celebratory actions.

"You laughing at me, Pinky?"

Josh chuckled at the nickname. "Nope, I'm laughing _with_ you. Good job on the first place, you earned it," he finished, giving Tyler a playful smack on the back and getting up from the bed to leave the room. Shocked, Tyler's jaw dropped, and he angrily followed Josh out.

"Where are you going?"

"To my phone. I'm just checking the time, calm down, buddy."

"Oh. Well what time is it?"

"Right around 12. And I'd say that your flawless driving skills deserve a reward, so I'm taking you out to lunch. My treat."

"I will not refuse that offer."

"Well," Josh said, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. "Let's go, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing style is so boring how do you guys stand this shit


	10. Both

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is mostly dialogue. I'm going to apologize right now for that because there's not much in dialogue chapters. However, this chapter has double as many words as a normal chapter so booya!. ALSO:
> 
> HOLY SHIT GUYS 800 HITS
> 
> I WAS AT 400 LIKE DAYS AGO
> 
> GUYS
> 
> THANKS
> 
> HOLY SHIT DUDE

Josh was confused as to why Tyler was acting so calm about this. He didn't actually know what went down last night, but by the looks of it it was _**bad.**_ When Josh found Tyler, he was limping on the side of the road with bloody clothes. How the hell could he be so calm?!

Regardless of Josh's confusion, he continued driving. Tyler was dead-sure where he wanted to eat lunch, even though Josh wasn't quite fond of the restaurant, and he had repeated the question to Tyler a few times hoping that he'd choose something different.

"Are you _sure_ you want to go to Taco Bell?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Why do you keep asking? You know it's my favorite!" Tyler said, smiling at Josh.

Josh smiled back at him. "Well, it's just that it's not particularly _my_ favorite."

Tyler dramatically gasped in fake offense. "Are you saying you don't like Taco Bell?!"

Josh chuckled again. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. But it doesn't matter, it's your lunch. I just have one question."

"What?"

"Do they have chicken nuggets?"

Tyler threw his head back in laughter, causing Josh to laugh as well. They stayed like that for a few moments, Tyler wiping his eye from where a tear appeared. "Chicken nuggets?"

"Yes! It's a legitimate question!"

"I don't know, dude. You'll have to ask them," Tyler replied, still smiling.

"I will totally do that when we get there. It is now my mission."

Tyler let out another chuckle or two. "You do that, man."

It was silent for a few moments, but they were both still smiling. Josh focused on his driving, Tyler looked out the window. As moments became minutes, Tyler's mind drifted.

"Hey," he began, trying to get Josh's attention.

"Yeah?"

"You know what would suck?"

"A lot of things, but which one in specific are you talking about?"

"If you lost your memory."

"... what do you mean?"

"Like, if you forgot everything."

"Well... yeah, that _would_ suck."

"You wouldn't know your name, you wouldn't know anyone else's name, and you wouldn't even know if you had a family or not."

Josh stayed quiet, knowing that Tyler had more to say. So he just drove on and let him talk.

"Can you imagine? All of your cherished memories spent with your favorite people: gone. Your happiest moments: gone. Everything would be gone! Even... even _you_ would be gone."

Tyler's previously thoughtful demeanor quickly changed to a devoid and sad one. Josh was listening intently now, wanting to hear the rest of his point.

"All that you were. All that you are."

He was just staring blankly ahead now.

"You'd have no meaning," he said, looking back up to the road.

"Josh, I know I haven't known you long, but," Tyler began, looking at the pink-haired boy. "I think we're gonna be friends. Like, good friends, for a long time."

Josh chuckled slightly. "Think so?"

"I do."

"Yeah... I think so, too."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you... could you do me a favor?"

"What favor?"

"Don't let me be gone."

"Tyler--"

"It terrifies me so much... to think of that happening to me. So please, don't let me be--"

"I won't. I promise."

Tyler turned back forward to face the road. His glance turned back to the window, watching as the terrain flew by. Silence fell over them again until Josh broke it.

"We're almost at Taco Bell."

" _Josh..._ " Tyler said, slouching in his seat and emphasizing his new friend's name and dramatically drawing it out.

"What?" Josh chuckled.

"I don't have inspiration to write a _song..._ "

Josh laughed again. "Write a song about Taco Bell."

Tyler quickly turned to look Josh in the eye. "You're a genius! I could just _**kiss**_ you!"

"Please don't," Josh said uncomfortably.

"The song's gonna happen, Jishwa. And it'll be called 'TB Saga'."

"'Jishwa'?" Josh laughed at Tyler's words.

"Yeah. It's your new nickname."

"I can live with that," Josh smiled.

"Hey, we're here!" Tyler exclaimed cheerily as Josh pulled into the parking lot. He found the first open spot and drove into it, parking the car and getting out. Tyler got out as well, and they both headed for the door to the restaurant.

Josh held the door for Tyler as he walked in, following shortly after him. There was only an elderly couple in line, so they could get their food fairly quickly. The couple ordered and moved to get their drinks, which meant that it was Tyler's turn to give his order to the cashier woman.

"I'll have a chalupa with Coca Cola, please." 

Tyler stepped away to find a table for them while Josh went up to order his food. As Tyler was getting napkins, he heard Josh ordering.

"Hi, um, do you have chicken nuggets?"

Tyler blurted out a laugh, his hands quickly flying up to cover his mouth. He still laughed horrendously through his hand.

"Um, no sir," the cashier lady said.

"Okay, I'll have a beef burrito."

"And what to drink with that?"

"Do you have Red Bull?"

Tyler's hands didn't do much good of covering his mouth, because he had to use them to keep him from falling. This time, he couldn't hold back his laughter, and he accidentally belted a chuckle throughout the restaurant. It wasn't as loud as it could've been, but it was still embarrassing.

"No, sir, we don't."

"Alright just give me a coke then."

The now angered cashier woman rang up the total price and Josh paid. She set the bag of food on the counter, as well as cups, and Josh went ahead and filled both their cups with coke. As he approached the table that Tyler was now sitting at, he smiled at the brunette, and set the bag onto the table before sitting down.

"You're an idiot, man," Tyler said, getting his food out of the bag.

"Hey, you told me to and I delivered." Josh chuckled, getting his food out of the bag after Tyler did.

"Yes you did. Eat up, Pinky."

Josh looked up at Tyler. "Is it Pinky or Jishwa?"

"Both."

◇◇◆◆~◆◆◇◇

"Why are we still here?" Josh said, smiling a bit.

"I don't know, do you want to leave now?"

"Tyler, I've been ready to leave since we got here, let's go."

And with that, Josh stood, Tyler quickly following his lead. Josh got up all his trash plus the bag that it all came in, and Tyler got a few wrappers. They threw it all away in the trash can by the door, and Josh turned quickly to Tyler to tell him something, but caught sight of Tyler picking at the cut on his face.

Josh quickly swatted Tyler's hand away. "Don't mess with it, that'll make it worse."

Tyler stepped back and away from him almost defensively, glaring at him in a way that sent shivers down his spine. Point taken, don't talk about the scars or anything. Got it.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Tyler spoke quietly, making his way out the door and to the car. He sped past Josh to it, leaving the pink-haired boy to run to the car instead of casually walking. Tyler got into the passenger seat, shutting the door a little louder than Josh expected. He got into the car as well, and drove out of the Taco Bell parking lot.

For the most part, it was a silent drive. Tyler stared out the window and Josh kept driving. Although, about halfway back to Tyler's house, Josh started thinking again; thinking about the scar, the bloody clothes, everything. He didn't know what happened, but he swore a few times he saw purple spots on Tyler's neck that resembled hickeys. Whatever really _did_ happen last night, Josh didn't want to think about it.

He glanced over at Tyler, checking to see if he was messing with his scar. He wasn't, but Josh found himself looking at Tyler for longer than he intended. Something about him, he just... he couldn't look away.

_**"Josh!!"** _

Josh's glance jerked from Tyler to the road, where apparently he had slowly started to go to the right. At the moment that Tyler yelled, the car almost hit a sign, but Josh gained control over his senses and veered left back onto the road. A moment of silence passed over them as they caught their breath.

"You're acting like a real dipcrap, you know that?" Tyler said, smiling a bit.

"I'm a dipcrap."

Tyler chuckled softly. "That's our new one, by the way."

"Yeah. Feel free to use it."

"And that's one word?"

"Uh, yeah. One word. 'Dipcrap'."

"Man, when we get home, I have got to work on that song. What was it called again?"

"Uh, TB Saga."

"Yeah! That."

"You got a kit at home?"

"Like, a drum kit?"

"Yeah."

"I think so, I can't remember. We'll see when we get there. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering if you needed any help with the song."

"I think I've got it, but thanks anyway."

The rest of the drive was completely quiet, and Josh pulled into the driveway of Tyler's home without another word. It wasn't that there was necessarily a problem, it's just that there wasn't much to talk about. When they were inside, Tyler went straight to his room to take his shoes off and offer Josh the ability to do the same. Once they were both shoeless, they headed down to the basement where all the instruments were.

"Ah, man," Tyler said.

"What?"

"We don't have a kit. I'm really sorry."

"No no, don't apologize. It's fine, really."

"Well, what about next time?"

"What do you mean, 'next time'?"

"Well, you're coming over again eventually, right?"

"I mean, I wasn't planning on it but I _can_."

"Awesome. Can you just bring your kit over?"

"Yeah, I might be able to fit it into the trunk."

"Cool."

"Well, since I can't do anything, can you show me some stuff?"

"Oh, uh... I guess."

"Alright, let's hear it."

Tyler crept over to the keyboard, sitting in the stool in front of it and turning it on. Almost immediately, his fingers glided across the keys ass if they belonged there. He did a little bit of a simple intro, then began to sing the lyrics he had written for it.

_"I'm a goner,_

_Somebody catch my breath._

_I'm a goner,_

_Somebody catch my breath._

_I want to be known,_

_By you._

_I want to be known,_

_By you."_

It hadn't even lasted long, but Josh already loved it. He loved the notes, he loved the lyrics, he loved the vocals. He also loved the way Tyler closed his eyes while he played it, showing the emotion sewn into the music.

_"Though I'm weak,_

_And beaten down,_

_I'll slip away,_

_Into the sound._

_The ghost of you,_

_Is close to me._

_I'm inside out,_

_You're underneath."_

Tyler kind of swayed with the music now, which made it evident how much he liked playing this song.

_"I've got two faces,_

_Blurry's the one I'm not._

_I've got two faces,_

_Blurry's the one I'm not._

_I need your help to,_

_Take him out._

_I need your help to,_

_Take him out."_

The song changed at this point, and so did the way Tyler acted. He stayed still for a few moments, while repeating one phrase:

_"Don't let me be gone."_

Then, out of nowhere, a whirlwind of beauty and emotion filled the room.

_**"Don't let me be--"** _

Tyler started to mash the keys now, but not in an ungraceful way. No, not at all. He may have been using force, but he was elegant in his actions.

_**"Don't let me be--"** _

Tyler had begun to shake his head a bit violently, adding to the emotional effect of the entire piece.

_**"Don't let me be--"** _

At this point, Josh had started to do air-drums, planning how perfect this song would be if it had percussion to its beautiful intensity.

_**"Oh, yeah...** _

_**I'm a goner,** _

_**Somebody catch my breath.** _

_**I'm a goner,** _

_**Somebody catch my breath.** _

**_I want to be known,_ **

**_By you._ **

**_I want to be known,_ **

_**By**_ you."


	12. Sorry dudes

I'm taking this time to write another shitty apology. I've really been in a rut lately, but as I stated in my last apology I've been imagining random scenes for this fic that will appear in the future. Since I've been having difficulty writing in accommodation with the timeline, I've been writing those so that I can get them out of my head and when the time comes I can just post them. I took a long time off, and I've only written one future scene but I will try my best to get chapter 11 out!! Being a writer sucks and I'm sorry but please forgive me I'm super stressed.

In the comments of the last apology you guys were super nice to me and told me to take as much time as I needed. Well I feel really bad for taking this much time so I'll be writing chapter 11 soon.

Seeya later me fam


	13. I'm sorry. --- a short goodbye

Hi.

 

Let me start out by saying that this hasn't been easy for me. It wasn't easy to make this decision and it certainly isn't easy to ignore it, either.

 

I know that a lot of you guys like this fic but I have to say that I will most likely discontinue it. I'm just so unhappy with the turnout and I don't know how to continue with where I left off. I've been extremely busy lately and I've almost completely forgotten about this, anyway. I am deeply sorry to anyone who enjoyed it, but I am just so so disappointed with it and I can't bring myself to keep it going.

 

I might rewrite the whole thing in the future but the chances are quite low.

 

I fell in love with the idea for this story, I really did; but I have proven it easy to tell that I lack the literary strength and skill to pull it off. I had it all planned, but I had no way to flesh it out and do it justice. Maybe once I've gained more experience it will show itself as a simpler task.

 

Once again, I am so, _**so**_ sorry about all this. I have tried my best.

 

 

Goodbye for now.

~Gash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (((Currently going through some identity-discovery-whatever-shit and until I figure out what name I want to go by [I already have a full name picked out] I will go by Gash because it's my initials, so)))


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